Go with the Flow

I have obvioulsy been thinking a lot about my situation with my boyfriend....and even though it is not even close to where I wish it was I have decided the best thing I can do for now is to just go with the flow. I know he hasnt fallen in love with me yet, not even close, and I know he isnt as affection as he could be with someone he likes. I know I may not complitely trust him or believe that things will ever get better. But I can not give up, not yet. So while I wait to see what happens I just need to go with it. I mean who knows, maybe in time he will fall in love with me....maybe he just needs to forget about his ex first. Maybe we just need to have some more fun weekends together for him to realize that we do make a good match. And maybe i just need to stay positive because I do not want my negativity to influence him. If I mope around all the time of course he isnt gonna enjoy that much. It`s incredibly hard for me not to know how the future will turn out for us....because I know I am in love with him and I know I want to be with him forever....but I dont know what he wants. And i know that I will be so hurt and sad if things dont work out.....but even then I have to stay positive and realize that maybe it just wasnt meant to be. So instead of overthinking all of this again and again I need to just go with the flow and hope it all works out in the end :-)

My Dilemma

So I have been with my boyfriend for not even a month yet and I allready feel like it's going to end, and it makes me very sad. i dont know if I'm just too paranoid or too impatient....i dont know how I should be feeling. But here is my issue....things seem to be going fine, he spend the night at my house almost everynight....that should mean he likes me right? Well I keep comparing our relationship to the one he used to have with his ex. I know I shouldnt be doing that but I cant help it. When they first started going out he was in love with her instantly....he wanted the whole world to know that they were together. He posted on facebook that he was in a relationship with her, even edited his interests to her and all that...they always wrote on eachothers wall how much they loved eachother and he would tell her she was beautiful all the time. They would hold hands in public, kiss and things like that. They were very happy and very in love and he called her the love of his life. Well now that he is with me he is not like that at all. He doesnt want to change his status on facebook....it's almost like he doesnt want anyone to know we're together....he never writes on my wall.....he never compliments me in real life.....he never holds my hand or kisses me in public. I understand he is not in love with me yet....but if he likes me a lot, shouldnt he want to be close to me? shouldnt he want to hold my hand and kiss me and compliment me and do all those things? I'm not saying he has to tell me he loves me or call me the love of his life....all i want is for him to show me a little bit of affection. Sometimes it feels like we're just friends hanging out....and I want it to feel like more then that considering the fact that we are more then that. I know I love him and he is not at the same stage as me....but I dont think it's too much of me to ask that he just shows me that he at least likes me. i dont want to be strung a long and if the only reason he is with me is so that he is not alone, if he is just using me right now then that's just cruel. it allready breaks my heart to think its not gonna work out. And i know you might be wondering why I dont just end it with him since I'm not really that happy with him....but like I said....I love him. And every day I hope things change and he falls in love with me. I know there will eventually come a breaking point....either I confront him or he breaks up with me....or maybe, just maybe, I'm overthinking everything and things will work out and be wonderful in the end.

cant get rid of this feeling

So i have been seeing this guy for a couple of months now....actually we are officially in a relationship now.....I should be happy, right? well I'm not, not because my feelings changed or anything like that...I still love him just as much as before, but....I dont think he feels the same way about me, and it's driving me nuts. I cant help but feel that it just wont work out, and i know I have to stop thinking this way so that I dont sabotage this relationship all on my own. The thing is though that I know him quite well....I know how he acts when he really likes someone....and he is not acting that way with me. Most of the time I feel like we are just hanging out as friends....we never cuddle when we watch a movie, we never hold hands, show no affection in public, he doesnt give me compliments or tells me how he feels about me ever. It's just weird. I try not to compare our relationship to his previous one cause I know we are not the same, but I cant help it. he loved his ex so much, he had no problem telling the whole world that he was with her and how he felt about her....they showed affection all the time, he did everything and anything for her. I just wish it could be like that for us. Maybe we just need more time, but sometimes I almost feel like he is forcing himself to try and have feeling for me. It's like he likes the idea of me....he knows I'm loyal, i'm a good person and i'm attractive (not trying to sound conceited), so he knows i would be a good person to be with, but the feelings are not there and it just seems like he is forcing himself to try and get them. I hate it, i wish I could just know whats going on. Instead I feel like i'm stuck in limbo, i want to be with him so I'm gonna put up with it all, but it makes me feel numb inside cause i just dont trust him. i wish it could work out, and I so hope I'm wrong. I just need to stop thinking about it. i need to try and focus on the good stuff. i need to focus on the fact that he is still here, and still spending every night with me.....